


Flamethrower

by Slaskia



Series: Misfortunate Events [2]
Category: Halo
Genre: Gen, Humiliation, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-07
Updated: 2008-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-16 02:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaskia/pseuds/Slaskia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Runi has a lighter, Sani has gas:  this will turn out to be a very bad combination for someone....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flamethrower

Sani was looking forward to his evening shower after a long day of drilling.  When he entered the communal shower he saw his childhood friend Runi there as well, toying with a small silver object.  “What is that?” He asked curiously. 

“This…is what the humans call a ‘lighter’,”  Runi replied.  “They use them to light things on fire, like those sticks they put in their mouths.” 

“Cigarettes,”  Sani corrected him.  “Why do you have it in here?” 

“Oh…conducting a little experiment,”  Runi said, a familiar glint in his eye.  “One I need your help with.” 

“Oh?”  Sani was getting a bad feeling about this already.  “How can I be of help when I do not even know what it is you are trying to do?” 

“I was doing some research on the more obscure things humans have done and thought I would try some of them out,”  He patted Sani on the shoulder.  “In this case all you need to do is to let one rip.” 

“Um….why?” Sani asked hesitantly. 

“From what I read human flatulence can be rather flammable and thus create an interesting effect when ignited.  I want to see if the same is true for us.” 

Sani was really getting a bad feeling now.  “That…sounds…dangerous…,”  He started to back away. “Besides…what makes you think I have any…um…gas…to spare?” 

Runi snorted, suddenly grabbed him and forced him to bend over.  “Oh come on…with the amount of ice cream you eat despite being…what is it?” 

“Lactose intolerant!”  Sani said as he tried to break free from his ‘friends’ grip. 

“Ah yes…anyway, despite that you have enough gas in you to where you can practically fart on command,”  Sani felt Runi rip his towel off his waist and something hot get close to his rear.  “So let one rip already!” 

“Ow! You are burning my ass!” 

“Well hurry up and fart then!” 

As it happened he let one rip just then and all Sani heard was a loud ‘whoosh’. 

“Wow that was wicked!”  Runi said excitedly.  “Let us do anoth…..um….eh heh…” 

“What is it?”  Sani asked, finally pulling free from Runi’s grip.  When he turned around he saw exactly what was wrong. 

The Shipmaster had walked in just at the moment of ‘firing’ and was now blinking at both of them in numb shock.  Like them he was about to take a shower and had only a towel on, which was now charred and smoking, along with part of his abdomen looking a little singed. 

“Um…hi Shipmaster….”  The two said sheepishly as they started to back away, seeing that the Shipmaster was slowly coming out of his shock.  They both turned and started to run, only for both of them to suddenly be grabbed by the neck by a rather irate Shipmaster…. 

 ** _Later_**  

“This is all your fault Runi….”  Sani grumbled as he scrubbed the bathroom floor. 

“How is it _my_ fault?”  Runi growled as he scrubbed a part of the wall.  “ _You_ are the one that has a gas problem!” 

“Yeah well it was _your_ idea!”  Sani snapped.  “Now not only do we have to clean every bathroom on the ship…but I got a burn on my ass from that stupid lighter of yours that really hurts!” 

“Less talking, more scrubbing!”  The Unggoy that was in charge of supervising their punishment said.  An Unggoy that was enjoying this way too much.  “You missed a spot!” 

“I scrubbed that area twice!”  Runi protested. 

“Scrub it again!”  The Unggoy barked, smacking him on the head with a brush. 

“OW! You little….”  Runi started to rise to punch the insolent little pest. 

“Nuh uh, you do, Shipmaster punish you worse.”  The Unggoy reminded him, wagging a finger at him. 

“How can he do _worse_!?”  Sani whined. 

“Oh, me sure he can think of things….”  The Unggoy tapped his claws together with glee. 

“I am finding the Unggoy more annoying then the punishment to be honest…”  Runi grumbled, only to be smacked on the head again.  “OW!” 

\-- 

Shipmaster Rtas ‘Vadum walked into the infirmary and sat down on one of the medical beds while he waited for the medic to notice him.  “Shipmaster,”  The medic said when he finally saw him.  “What are you doing here?” 

“I have a plasma burn.”  Rtas said, removing the towel to reveal the burn mark. 

“Plasma?  That looks more like a….” 

“It is a _plasma_ burn.”  Rtas said more forcefully. 

The medic blinked a couple of times.  “Right…plasma burn…the treatment is pretty much the same anyway…” 

Rtas laid back on the bed, sighed and rubbed his head.  _Of all ships…why did_ I _have to receive those two?_   He thought with a groan. 

Some scars you just do not want to have to explain….


End file.
